Carry Me Back to Old Virginny

Like a post-Nipplegate Justin Timberlake after his appearance on the Ellen Degeneres show dressed like a dancing gingerbread man, I have redeemed myself. Like JT, I have not only brought sexy back, I have recovered from my wardrobe malfunction debacle. On the long drive from Fayetteville NC to Richmond VA, I sewed a new zipper into my saloon girl outfit. With reinforced thread. By hand. And it took for-freaking-EVER. Like more than 2 hours for freaking ever. But I did it! And more importantly, my spirits were greatly cheered by a driver-navigator Cher singalong starring Ichabod and myself. Who knew anyone else knew all the words to “Half-Breed”? Not that I do. Obvi.

Richmond should have been a dark day. There was a 7:30 am load-in with a freight elevator, for christ’s sake. But when the morning dawned and the hotel lady asked what time I was performing in the Disney on ice show (moi? A figure skater?! My secret dream, ever since the days when I collected Nancy Kerrigan trading cards! I knew things were going to go well.

I didn’t run away to join Disney on ice, but went to our load-in, which was so ridonkadonk fast that Brom, Other Actress and I went out for breakfast. We found the coolest little coffee shop full of breakfast burritos and tofu scrambles and vegan banana muffins and all the magical types of things I’d been craving, all in a cute, comfy, stuffed-chair shop. It was like I was home again.

I packed up my extra tofu and went back to the theater, where we luxuriated in our GIANT dressing room on our HUGE plushy comfy couches until we did the show, in a BEAUTIFUL old theater (the Landmark) with all these cool sort of asain-y murals, the crowd was super into it, and I was having the time of my life. You know those moments when you’re just blissfully, almost inexplicably happy? Like snowball fight and a mug of hot chocolate happy? The cute boy sits next to you in history class happy? This was one of them. When I made my BAM entrance into the ball during The Necklace and stood there glittering in my ballgown and faux-diamond necklace,, under the spotlights with arms raised, all I could think was that I somehow wanted to freeze the moment and let it go on forever.

Of course, time doesn't freeze, the show must go on, life goes on, and you can't stay in Richmond forever. Eventually you trek on down to Wytheville, Virginia, and somehow end up in Jesus' diner...

Sometimes the south is scary.